Not About Italy

Hello all! Sorry it’s been a while!

….

And every time I start to write this post, that’s as far as I get. And I’ve been home for two weeks today. And I’ve come up with many excuses of why I haven’t posted since the 27

th

.

For example,

1.

My WiFi stopped uploading any photos to the web and my blogs weren’t posting faster than two hours of loading.

2.

I just got busy with classes, lessons, and exploring Urbino.

3.

I definitely hate failing

I have to admit, it probably has more to do with the failing part. After I had made excuse after excuse while in Italy, I came home and just came up with even more excuses. I told myself no one would read a post a week after the fact. It’s just embarrassing, honestly.

There are a lot of things we hide because we are embarrassed. We have all hidden a grade from our parents at least once, maybe your lines on your hand during a rehearsal, or maybe how much you feel your world is falling apart because obviously everyone on Instagram has it perfectly together! Maybe you’ve masked your feelings or pain with a smile? I know I have.

So why am I writing this you ask? I just gave many reasons why I am totally embarrassed that this is so late. Well it started with my own question, “Why do I care so much?” I started this blog not so everyone could see how great I am or all the places I’ve been or what books I’ve read. I started it to encourage others and to tell stories. So today I’m going to tell a story. And while it came from Italy, I’ll save all my Italy sunsets and excursions for a later post.

Once upon a time (as all good stories start) there was a man with a top notch white collar job. He had pretty much everything; he had the position of being most trusted by his boss and loved by many. Everything seemed to be going well on the outside: he worked hard and got good pay (man, this guy probably could’ve had a yacht if he wanted) but one day he received devastating news that his home had been demolished out of hate and that the walls around the city which once were the protection and pride of a great city were now shaken and destroyed. When the news reached him he was heartbroken and filled with an irrepressible calling to rebuild. His boss noticed that something was wrong and asked him what he could do to help? When asked, the man requested that he send a team of rescuers with him to restore his hometown.

We’ve all felt grief; we feel like we’ve failed; or maybe someone has failed us. Looking back, it’s easy to want to hide that scar with tinted concealer and pretend like it was never there. Nehemiah was faced with a similar situation. He saw something truly heartbreaking and had a couple choices just as many of us have when faced with what looks like irreparable failure. One is too hole up inside and just let the grief steal your joy. The second, is to join the adventure the Lord invites us on. One thing I’ve learned this summer? Redemption and restoration is ALWAYS the business of heaven.

This may sound crazy and I know I’m a hopeless romantic, but if you want to read a romantic story then read Nehemiah! Okay, well maybe not. But there is a lot of serious redemption going on there and to quote Maria Goff, “Every act of extravagant grace is a declaration of immense love.” God is always about restoring broken things. Over and over from Genesis to Revelation He is merciful. First He shows His mercy again and again to the Israelites. They keep running from Him and He relentlessly pursues them. He continues to restore and revise what the world saw as worthless. And Nehemiah had the blessing of getting to join Him on the adventure of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. It wasn’t about him…it was about Him.

And they shall be called The Holy People,

The Redeemed of the LORD;

k

and you shall be called Sought Out,

A City Not Forsaken.

Isaiah 62:12

I love that. “Sought Out” a city, seen as worthless, not forsaken but redeemed for a worthy purpose. A God-filled purpose.

Remember that next time you feel like a failure. (I did this morning and I’m assuming I wasn’t the only one today) He is always at work redeeming with His love. Ask Him today to do a “new work” in your heart (Isaiah 43:19) to rebuilding your heart to be a dwelling place where love lives. And can then spill out into the lives of those around you. I heard from a wise man once that sometimes are fear of failing can stop us from taking God’s invitation for an adventure. I don’t think I’m going to let that stop me today. What about you?

How to: Cast out Love

     I would love to say this season of college auditions, contests, and performances has taught me that I have more confidence than I thought I did... Or it really wasn't a big deal and I never felt so sick I didn't think I could get out of bed at 6 in the morning again. But my nose would most certainly grow in the face of that lie.

     The truth is, I've learned about fear. I went back and forth on whether to post this, because I feel the devil and fear get more than enough air time in our culture as it is. But I would like to share a few things. 

     In the book of Joshua, The Lord is raises up Joshua as a "Warrior Poet", so to speak. A man of God. But as we study this book, I find that God is constantly reminding Joshua to have courage. Wait, this warrior is fearful?? Even with the promise of God hemming him in?? In Joshua 1:6-7,9 the Lord says, "Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go...Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” 

He says THREE times, "be strong and courageous". I remember being told once by a teacher that if the Lord says "therefore" or repeats himself three times, I should probably be listening. He is COMMANDING Joshua to have courage, but he doesn't just expect him to find it on his own. He promises to PROVIDE! 

"Fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10) 

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7) 

     Recently, I arrived to a huge audition so nervous I couldn't drink my coffee and so exhausted I struggled to remain upright. At 8 am all the auditioners were collected in a small auditorium to hear the Dean of the music school. I remember trying to hang on his every word, terrified I'd fall asleep and they'd send me packing before I even got to do a jazz square. Honestly, I don't remember much of his important speech, but there was one thing he said that truly stuck out to me. He told us it was okay if we were nervous, but that we shouldn't have fear. "Fear creates a barrier between you and your audience. Like a thin film veiling what you have to offer." I had never thought of fear like that, I just thought it was the annoying thing that made my singing voice crack in highschool.

     1 John 4:18, "

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." Love casts out fear, but it is also true that fear casts out love. Fear creates a barrier between you and your audience, those the Lord has placed in your life, and Himself. 

      Choosing to let fears, doubt, and uncertainty que your life, is choosing to reject God's role for you. (Excuse the thespian-ese for a moment) 

One of my favorite authors, Bob Goff, said this, "Don't let uncertainty steal your identity. You are His. He is yours." 

      When you believe the identity Christ has given you, it liberates you to love and live well. We are not called to fear less, but to be fearless children of God.

Most Ardently

I have found him. The perfect lover. He calls me Beloved. He greets me every morning with words of love and joy. His unconditional love offers grace when I'm less than perfect. It doesn't alter or fade with the weather. I don't deserve this love. But who does?

No, my lover is not Mr. Darcy or Col. Brandon.  His raptures go above and beyond the passions of Mr. Rochester and his displays of affection far surpass the noble acts of Mr. Knightley.  His beauty is not superficial like that of Tom Hiddleston or Ryan Gosling, on the contrary, He is radiant. I found this quote today in my copy of "The Gold Cord" by Amy Carmichael. 

"Here lies a lover who has died for his Beloved, and for love; who has loved his Beloved with a love that is good, great, and enduring; who has battled bravely for love's sake, who has striven against false love and false lovers; a lover ever humble, patient, loyal, ardent, liberal, prudent, holy and full of all good things, inspiring many lovers to honor and serve his Beloved." -Raymond Lull

What greater lover is there than Christ?? 

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 ESV

The lovers I mentioned above and countless others, fictional and nonfictional, are only shadows of the love of Christ. The Word of God says he is abounding in steadfast love (Psalm 86:15). There is also no possible way to be separated from Christ's love as believers. (Romans 8:37-39) 

I find the end of this quote is my favorite. "Inspiring many lovers to honor and serve his Beloved."  The Story is ultimately the greatest love story ever written! What story does not try to mimic its arc? We all want to be called Beloved by a Mr. Darcy. But try as we might, fictional and nonfictional lovers are all flawed human beings/types. Every lover is only inspired by the true lover and can never satisfy the craving for love within us. Only Christ can fulfill the desire of our heart. 

The second truth I pull from the final sentence of Lull's quote, is that Christ doesn't just inspire "other" lovers... He inspires me as a lover. If Christ is the perfect lover than shouldn't we imitate Him in our love? We should love as Christ loves us and gave himself for us. (John 13:34) If you haven't already, I would suggest the exercise of reading aloud 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, and substituting the word "love" for your own name. Striving to be like Christ reveals in a new way that we are flawed, and brings us back to the realization that we don't deserve HIS love! 

Christ's love is passionate, enduring, and ardent. (I just really love that word, "ardent", ok!!??) 

YOU ARE LOVED!!!!! (Most ardently!!!)

That Lovely Fact

     Maybe you feel less than perfect today. Broken hearted? Or just a little unworthy of the responsibilities that are in store today. Then this word is for you. And me.

     Psalm 49:19 "When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer."

23 

     Psalm 37:23-24 "The 

Lord

 directs the steps of the godly. 

He delights in every detail of their lives. Thoug 

they stumble, they will never fall,

for the 

Lord

 holds them by the hand."

"Do you know that lovely fact about the opal? That in the first place, it is made only of desert dust, sand, and silica, and owes its beauty and preciousness to a defect. It is a stone with a broken heart. It is full of minute fissures which admit air, and the air refracts the light. Hence its lovely hue and that sweet lamp of fire that ever burns at its heart, for the breath of the Lord God is in it. You are only conscious of the cracks and desert dust, but so He makes His precious opal. We must be broken in ourselves before we can give back the lovely hues of His light, and the lamp in the temple can burn in us and never go out." - Ellice Hopkins

Remembering Judges

" I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God." -Ezekiel 36:25-27 NIV

Judges is not about the Israelites. It's about God. More specifically its about the cycle of man rejecting God, hitting rock bottom, and then God's redemption. Judges 2:6-23 gives a summary of the entire book. After Joshua dies the Israelites begin worshiping other idols and marrying pagan worshippers, polluting the entire nation. Judges 3:7 puts it this way, "The Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord; they forgot the Lord their God and served the Baals and the Asherahs." (emphasis added) As always in the Bible, wording is very key here. When the people of the Old Testament to "forget" their sins or "remember" His great mercy, (Psalm 25:6) they were not implying the Lord could forget His character. (Deuteronomy 32:39) The word "forget" in this context means to not act upon what he knows. Like when you ask a friend to forget what you've done, they obviously won't forget, but they can choose whether or not to act upon the knowledge of your past. So when the Israelites "forgot" God, it means they were no longer using their knowledge of Him to influence them and their actions. It's a spiritual problem. The truths of God were not real to them. This is a problem today as well. We can have knowledge of God and what He has done for us, but until the truth has manifested itself in our every day lives enough to control or influence us, it is not real.

"For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." (Hebrews 8:12) In a different light, When Christ died for us, taking the ultimate penalty for our iniquities, Christ's holiness was made ours. Meaning that God has "forgotten" our sins, or that He shall no longer act on His knowledge of our past, present, and future. Just like the Israelites, we need to hide the Word of Truth deep in our hearts in order for them to work in us. In Luke 22:19, Jesus is sharing supper with His disciples and His command is, "Do this is remembrance of me." Not just remember this and say, "Okay! Cool Jesus! Thanks!" and direct your thoughts back to your Sunday lunch plans. But remembering the reality and relevancy of the gospel to penetrate your inner being and bring you to a daily place of surrender. Remembering the gospel should bring us to our knees, people!! It is a reason to celebrate! There should be a difference in our countenance just like there is a difference in remembering to get the mail so you can put a mark on your checklist and remembering the day your first child was born!
When we come to that place of complete surrender and repentance is when God can cleanse us and give us a new heart, faithful to Him. 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" Remember His truths today! Blessings!


"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." -Lamentations 3:22-23