I would love to say this season of college auditions, contests, and performances has taught me that I have more confidence than I thought I did... Or it really wasn't a big deal and I never felt so sick I didn't think I could get out of bed at 6 in the morning again. But my nose would most certainly grow in the face of that lie.
The truth is, I've learned about fear. I went back and forth on whether to post this, because I feel the devil and fear get more than enough air time in our culture as it is. But I would like to share a few things.
In the book of Joshua, The Lord is raises up Joshua as a "Warrior Poet", so to speak. A man of God. But as we study this book, I find that God is constantly reminding Joshua to have courage. Wait, this warrior is fearful?? Even with the promise of God hemming him in?? In Joshua 1:6-7,9 the Lord says, "Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go...Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
He says THREE times, "be strong and courageous". I remember being told once by a teacher that if the Lord says "therefore" or repeats himself three times, I should probably be listening. He is COMMANDING Joshua to have courage, but he doesn't just expect him to find it on his own. He promises to PROVIDE!
"Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)
Recently, I arrived to a huge audition so nervous I couldn't drink my coffee and so exhausted I struggled to remain upright. At 8 am all the auditioners were collected in a small auditorium to hear the Dean of the music school. I remember trying to hang on his every word, terrified I'd fall asleep and they'd send me packing before I even got to do a jazz square. Honestly, I don't remember much of his important speech, but there was one thing he said that truly stuck out to me. He told us it was okay if we were nervous, but that we shouldn't have fear. "Fear creates a barrier between you and your audience. Like a thin film veiling what you have to offer." I had never thought of fear like that, I just thought it was the annoying thing that made my singing voice crack in highschool.
1 John 4:18, "
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." Love casts out fear, but it is also true that fear casts out love. Fear creates a barrier between you and your audience, those the Lord has placed in your life, and Himself.
Choosing to let fears, doubt, and uncertainty que your life, is choosing to reject God's role for you. (Excuse the thespian-ese for a moment)
One of my favorite authors, Bob Goff, said this, "Don't let uncertainty steal your identity. You are His. He is yours."
When you believe the identity Christ has given you, it liberates you to love and live well. We are not called to fear less, but to be fearless children of God.