story

Q&A with Emily!

I’m thrilled to announce I have something different for you today! Allow me to introduce my wonderful friend, Emily Dellyn! Emily and I went to Ouachita together and have shared the stage on many occasions! We put our heads together and came up with 10 questions to ask one another and post on our blogs! Check out mine on her blog on Thursday, February 4th. 

A highschool drama teacher used to do an exercise with my class where we lined up one by one on the stage and went to center stage. She would tell us to “find our light.” We had to awkwardly shuffle around until we felt the warm light from above hit our skin. Emily and I came in together in 2016, and it’s been a joy watching her find her light over the past almost 5 years... I know you’ll enjoy getting acquainted as much as I have! Find all things Emily (and Flo!) at emilydellyn.com or reach her @EmilyDellyn

Photo by Kenzie Henderson

Photo by Kenzie Henderson

  1. Where does your story begin, and on what course has COVID taken you? How are you handling quarantine?

My story pretty much starts at Ouachita. I grew up singing in church and then doing high school choir and our yearly musical, but I didn’t have any training or idea of doing this professionally until my senior year when I was accepted to OBU. From there, I’ve discovered several paths that I felt like I could take when I graduated. In May of 2020, I graduated with my BFA in Musical Theatre. Within a few months, the contract I had was cancelled due to COVID and the only thing to do was wait at home until the world opened up again. 

My plans have definitely changed, several times even in the past six months. I’ve had to be flexible and patient, which are two things that I really don’t enjoy. However, I’ve also been able to explore different interests and career paths during this time. I’ve started voice acting, which I found I LOVE, and I’ve also started learning to play the ukulele. (I found a uke at a thrift store for $6, I’ve named her Flo, and she has her own page on my website now)

2. How has the definition of being an artist changed for you?

I think one of the most inspiring things during this time is seeing how other artists are still creating. This is the hardest environment to be creative, so finding inspiration is truly a feat. I have a hard time accepting the fact that I’m not as creative right now. I equate Not Being Productive with Anti-Productivity, which is so not true. Just because I’m creating in smaller ways, be it playing my uke or breaking out my watercolors or writing this blog post, it doesn’t mean that my art is any less than. You can still be an artist even when you’re not currently making Art with a capital A.

3. How do you seek out opportunities right now?

My favorite professor who has since retired, Dr. Scott Holsclaw, would always talk about the importance of creating your own opportunities. That never made sense to me. I would feel like I could find auditions and prepare and do my best, but it would still be up to the casting team if I could have that opportunity. Now that I’m in a world where there are no auditions and there’s nothing to be cast in, I’ve had to find other ways to feel artistically fulfilled and productive. I’ve had to create my own opportunities. 

I’ve learned how to create a voiceover reel and I’ve been submitting for various VO gigs. I regularly check Backstage to see what places are slowly opening up and how the acting world is doing. I’ve cleaned up my website and recorded a new acting reel for when things do eventually open up. I’ve emailed companies I still hope to work for in the future, to check on them and see how they’re holding up. I’m also writing sketches and bits and one act plays, that I can hopefully get to perform / see performed one day.

4. Talk about a moment of beauty, goodness, or truth that you’ve seen.

I’m a lot better about noticing the beauty in the small things. A nice walk outside, a full breath of air, the colors of the clouds during a sunset. I also see, now that I’m much more isolated and secluded than I used to be, how much I took friendships and community for granted. Now each zoom call, coffee date, and reconnection is so special and valued.

5. What's a trend that intrigues you right now? What's a work of art that's inspired you recently? 

Honestly, Ratatouille the musical. WHO SAW THAT COMING. I also loved that it was used as a fundraiser for the Actors Fund. It’s incredible seeing the ways that artists are still being creative and supporting other artists during this time. 

I feel like I’ve experienced a whole mess of art right now, but I don’t know much really stuck with me. Like how much I've congested compared to how much I’ve digested. One thing that did create a lot of enjoyment and laughter was Mischief Movie Night, an improv show done over zoom by the Mischief Co. I could feel the creative sector of my brain gearing up and I laughed so hard I peed a little. I think they’re continuing doing shows into 2021, so if you want to have an afternoon (evening for them bc of the time difference) of laughs and fun and some of the best improv storytelling, look them up.

6. What’s a self-care habit you’ve formed?

I’ve started doing some yoga and listening more to my body lately. I’ve noticed a big change in how I feel from that. I also really love lighting a nice smelling candle and listening to music. It’s a really small thing, but that helps me reset a bit. 

7. Does vulnerability look different as an artist when you can't stand in front of an audience?

Okay, this is something I’ve really noticed when I started doing voiceover work. I have a set up in my closet where I record: my wall of clothes on one side, a comforter draped on the other, my microphone in the middle, with just enough space to squeeze in and close the door behind me. It’s just me, the mic, and probably some cockroaches in the walls.

But there’s a moment right before I take a breath, where I feel a catch in my chest, just like if this were a live performance and I’m about to walk out on stage. Keeping in mind, I can record this as many times as I need, if I mess up I can just start over and cut that part when I edit. But I still have those same nerves, that same feeling that what I’m saying has to feel true. I have to be honest and vulnerable to let that carry into my voice. Even when it’s just me recording a sentence or two in my closet at home. 

An audience is so important to live theatre. I think there’s a true connection and trust that’s vital. However, being vulnerable and honest should always be the goal of an artist, whether the audience is there or not.

8. Have you picked up a new hobby?

Florence the Ukulele! Honestly, best $6 I ever spent. I would also like to take an art class or a dance class when it’s safe to do so. 

9. If you had a magic wand, what show/role would you do next? What’s a miscast role you’d love to play?

I would give a kidney to play Scuttle in The Little Mermaid. He is such a fun and high energy character, and his song “Positoovity” is not only both a bop and an inspiration, but it also has a TAP BREAK.

I guess that would technically be a miscast role, since Scuttle is traditionally played by a gentleman actor, but if I had to pick another, I would love to play Vivian in Pretty Woman. Very much not my type, but I think there’s so much truth and depth in her character, I’d love to walk a stage in her shoes.

10. What’s your idea of a perfect Sunday afternoon?

Definitely lighting a nice candle, doing some yoga, making a cup of tea, listening to music, and giving myself permission to be still. Not much beats a lazy, peaceful afternoon.

Photo by Kenzie Henderson

Photo by Kenzie Henderson

*Photos by Kenzie Henderson

Chapter Free

          Chapter titles have long been an important thing to me. I confess when judging a book, I usually look at a couple different things… 1. The cover (I know, but ignoring the cliché for a moment, you know you do it too!) 2. The first sentence 3. Whether or not the chapters have titles.

If you know me, you probably know my favorite book is “Love Does” by Bob Goff. Now you may ask how Bob passed my criteria with flying colors. Well, I’m glad you asked! First of all, balloons backed by a favorite shade of sky blue covers number one. I mean, who doesn’t love balloons?? His first sentence in the introduction is, “I do all my best thinking on Tom Sawyer Island at Disneyland.” That sure grabs my attention! Side note: for those who enjoy “Love Does” as much as I have, may be delighted to know that my brother and his wife went to Disneyland recently, and proved this to be very true! Now to my third point, chapter titles. The first one to grab your attention are titles like “The Reach,” “Ryan in Love,” and “Go Buy Your Books!,” and “A Word not to Use.”

I think chapter titles do a few things for the reader. It gives the author a chance to introduce his idea to you before you read the chapter. And it gives the reader a preconceived idea of what the chapter will be about. Rarely would a title be purposefully misleading. Maybe at first, you’ll find the chapter titled “Peace of my Mind” to be about nothing but conflict, restlessness, and nothing but peace in a relationship. But more often than not, at the end of the chapter the author leads you to a conclusion of peace despite some difficult circumstances along the way.

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I’ve seen the Lord operate in my life with chapter titles quite often. In my experience, He uses different ways to communicate with us in ways we will listen. I love stories and storytelling, and I’ve noticed that He does too. That’s a way He’s chosen for me to function and a way that He can operate in my life to shape me into His image. As I go through different seasons in my life sometimes the Lord will reveal certain words to me that I then see played out through circumstances, stories I hear or read about.

This summer the word has been “Freedom.” I was a little confused at first because I believed this new chapter would be about independence or rebellion or something and I was like… um really God? But I learned quickly that my definition of freedom wasn’t the same as the Biblical definition. Happens quite a lot actually.

My first experience was when I traveled to Italy. Lots of baby steps took place in that trip which you can read about in my last blogpost. A year ago I would’ve never imagined myself spending five weeks away from my home and my family in a different country, much less going off by myself in the afternoons and sitting at a café alone. I’ve mentioned my anxiety disorder a few times either on my blog or in a conversation with you. (I’d be happy to have a tell you all about how God is redeeming me in that area over a cup of coffee!) Last year I had at least two panic attacks on an airplane. One was an international flight with 4 hours left on the journey. I’m happy to say that I took MANY flights and train rides while overseas and did not have to use Xanax once!! This was a HUGE victory. I also climbed to the top of the Capitol building in Rome which defied all of my opposition and fears to gravity.

Once home, I assumed this chapter would close and a new one would begin, but I was surprised that my anxiety was only one area the Lord wanted to reach in me. He wanted me to realized that the idea that my anxiety is my identity is a LIE. I got really excited about what He was doing and dove head first into this adventure of “Freedom.”

I’ve experienced freedom in areas of health, relationships, mentally, and spiritually! My doctor and I have made leaps and bounds in my health journey. (Looking forward to blogging about that soon!) I went from suffering physically, mentally, and spiritually from adrenal fatigue and chronic pain, to thriving in a job this summer which keeps me on my feet all day and having enough energy to play with kiddos.

Mentally, there were several barriers of fear that I needed to push past to get to where I am today. This started on a fifty-minute flight to Little Rock, AR I took in July entirely alone. As excited as I was to take this next step in freedom, I had battle waging inside of me. My body struggles understanding the difference of “good adrenaline” and “bad adrenaline.” You’ve probably thought of this as separate if you’ve never experienced the hormonal confusion of your brain convincing you that running two minutes late for a class equates as watching your life flash before your eyes before a car accident. Good adrenaline is what you feel before a performance that gives you a feeling of nervousness but then allows you to have energy. Bad adrenaline is what terrifies you before a car accident or if a shooter points a gun at your head. The freedom I felt on the plane and later on a drive to Plano driving across an overpass for the first time alone was so exhilarating it cannot be encompassed in words.

I pray that there are some of you who, as you read this, have an innate desire to taste this freedom. Well I have good news! It’s offered free of charge to anyone who believes in Christ as your Lord and savior. Imagine that! Freedom in love without a cost to us because HE in His great love paid it.

As my Lord I believe that He has absorbed the weight of my worry and sin. He is so much greater than my fear. This whole journey began with one prayer. Reading through Romans 8 one day, I realized that I was still holding on to my sin and judgment as if I was still under the law that leads to death. Of course I would never experience the Freedom in Christ if I was still living as if I was a slave to sin.

“For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus

from the law of sin and death.”

Romans 8:2

I’ve let doubt, lies, and fears take root in my heart choking the freedom that I can feel spiritually as a child of God. Instead of allowing myself to feel treasured and beloved by my heavenly Father, I’ve succumbed to lies that I am not forgiven and so I’ve condemned myself and convinced myself that I have failed him again and again. But my thoughts about myself don’t determine who I am. I am who Jesus is shaping me to become. My identity is found in Him, not my anxiety, my weaknesses, or fears.

I’m excited to finish the summer continuing to conquer my fears, displace lies, and experience Freedom in Christ. Early in July I committed Ephesians 2:4-10 to memory and made it my verse for the summer.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith.

And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, 

which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

Ephesians 2:4-10

Not About Italy

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Hello all! Sorry it’s been a while!

….

And every time I start to write this post, that’s as far as I get. And I’ve been home for two weeks today. And I’ve come up with many excuses of why I haven’t posted since the 27

th

.

For example,

1.

My WiFi stopped uploading any photos to the web and my blogs weren’t posting faster than two hours of loading.

2.

I just got busy with classes, lessons, and exploring Urbino.

3.

I definitely hate failing

I have to admit, it probably has more to do with the failing part. After I had made excuse after excuse while in Italy, I came home and just came up with even more excuses. I told myself no one would read a post a week after the fact. It’s just embarrassing, honestly.

There are a lot of things we hide because we are embarrassed. We have all hidden a grade from our parents at least once, maybe your lines on your hand during a rehearsal, or maybe how much you feel your world is falling apart because obviously everyone on Instagram has it perfectly together! Maybe you’ve masked your feelings or pain with a smile? I know I have.

So why am I writing this you ask? I just gave many reasons why I am totally embarrassed that this is so late. Well it started with my own question, “Why do I care so much?” I started this blog not so everyone could see how great I am or all the places I’ve been or what books I’ve read. I started it to encourage others and to tell stories. So today I’m going to tell a story. And while it came from Italy, I’ll save all my Italy sunsets and excursions for a later post.

Once upon a time (as all good stories start) there was a man with a top notch white collar job. He had pretty much everything; he had the position of being most trusted by his boss and loved by many. Everything seemed to be going well on the outside: he worked hard and got good pay (man, this guy probably could’ve had a yacht if he wanted) but one day he received devastating news that his home had been demolished out of hate and that the walls around the city which once were the protection and pride of a great city were now shaken and destroyed. When the news reached him he was heartbroken and filled with an irrepressible calling to rebuild. His boss noticed that something was wrong and asked him what he could do to help? When asked, the man requested that he send a team of rescuers with him to restore his hometown.

We’ve all felt grief; we feel like we’ve failed; or maybe someone has failed us. Looking back, it’s easy to want to hide that scar with tinted concealer and pretend like it was never there. Nehemiah was faced with a similar situation. He saw something truly heartbreaking and had a couple choices just as many of us have when faced with what looks like irreparable failure. One is too hole up inside and just let the grief steal your joy. The second, is to join the adventure the Lord invites us on. One thing I’ve learned this summer? Redemption and restoration is ALWAYS the business of heaven.

This may sound crazy and I know I’m a hopeless romantic, but if you want to read a romantic story then read Nehemiah! Okay, well maybe not. But there is a lot of serious redemption going on there and to quote Maria Goff, “Every act of extravagant grace is a declaration of immense love.” God is always about restoring broken things. Over and over from Genesis to Revelation He is merciful. First He shows His mercy again and again to the Israelites. They keep running from Him and He relentlessly pursues them. He continues to restore and revise what the world saw as worthless. And Nehemiah had the blessing of getting to join Him on the adventure of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. It wasn’t about him…it was about Him.

And they shall be called The Holy People,

The Redeemed of the LORD;

k

and you shall be called Sought Out,

A City Not Forsaken.

Isaiah 62:12

I love that. “Sought Out” a city, seen as worthless, not forsaken but redeemed for a worthy purpose. A God-filled purpose.

Remember that next time you feel like a failure. (I did this morning and I’m assuming I wasn’t the only one today) He is always at work redeeming with His love. Ask Him today to do a “new work” in your heart (Isaiah 43:19) to rebuilding your heart to be a dwelling place where love lives. And can then spill out into the lives of those around you. I heard from a wise man once that sometimes are fear of failing can stop us from taking God’s invitation for an adventure. I don’t think I’m going to let that stop me today. What about you?

Read a few, Emma

I just HAVE to write. The thought has pulsed through my head nonstop for the past year. My biggest obstacle has always been starting. And the middle bit. And finishing. “Short stories,” I said to myself. “That is something I could tackle!” But this too I’ve found requires some determination and will, which I find lacking when I set pen to paper.

I’ve heard it said, a reader who has nothing to read must write. So then, wouldn’t the opposite be true? A writer who has nothing to write, must read.

“Emma has been meaning to read more ever since she was twelve years old. I have seen a great many lists of her drawing-up at various times of books that she meant to read regularly through—and very good lists they were—very well chosen, and very neatly arranged—sometimes alphabetically, and sometimes by some other rule… But I have done with expecting any course of steady reading from Emma. She will never submit to anything requiring industry and patience, and a subjection of the fancy to the understanding.”

This excerpt from Jane Austen’s Emma, spoken by Mr. Knightley about young Emma’s endeavor to read more, could be easily spoken about myself. I’ve drawn up many a “good list” of books to read but never can get through them all without some distraction or to be taken with another title. But like Emma, I’m always game for a challenge and I do believe I will be endeavoring to read more the rest of my life. (Now if Mr. Knightley would choose to brew me a cup of tea and sit with me, I think I would happily read the day away with very few qualms!)

I sat down to read early on in 2017. I was disappointed that college provided little time for pleasure literature. All of my fantasies of being snuggled in the corner of a library aisle with a big thermos of coffee and a Charles Dickens novel were severely injured by the fast paced, jam packed collegiant life. Besides the obvious, classes, studies, and obligations as a music major, I found any amount of free time with friends was always being challenged by Netflix, sleep, or exercise. There is no built in time for, as Mr. Darcy would eloquently state, “the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

I decided that this must be remedied. So I began by finishing books I had started and asking others for suggestions. I didn’t want to exclude myself to certain “intellectual” literature. I read anything and everything! Even if it meant four books by the same author whose first name is not Jane and last name not Austen. (Of course, I am referring to Katherine Reay for any Austen enthusiasts who need a breath of fresh air into the 21

st

century)

Wuthering Heights

by Emily Brontë

This was my first book when I began this adventure, and I must say the darkness took me by surprise. Jane Eyre is an old friend of mine and I return to her on multiple occasions when her inner courage and moral compass are grounding and inspiring to me. But Emily’s book held so much darkness and not so much redemption that I struggled to navigate it in one swift reading. I had to take a break at one point and read something a bit lighter because it was a little bit too much for me to handle. Especially since I do most of my reading late at night.

The Gilded Years

by Karin Tanabe

At one point, I will sit down and write the thorough book review this title deserves. I am very partial to books set in periods, because at heart I’m an old-fashioned girl and this book touched every heartstring in my body. Anita lives her life hiding behind her skin color in order to achieve an education. Something happens that makes her question why she needs to live unloved in order to hide. She finds acceptance, friendship, and even love. But it may threaten all of the safety she and her family have built for her. An AMAZING read! I read it over the summer and couldn’t put it down.

The Brontë Plot

by Katherine Reay

           This book took some digging through the back of a few Half Price Books to find. I fell in love with all of my favorite Austen characters all over again when I read Reay’s

Dear Mr. Knightley

and

Lizzie & Jane,

that this book wasn’t going to be left unread for long. I fell in love fast and hard with the world of old books, interior decorating, and the stories left behind by generations of English authors. It made me want to jump on a plane and fly to the moor where Cathy rode her pony and Mr. Rochester galloped on his brilliant black steed. In true Brontë style Reay writes a mystery that will keep you hanging on every word. I am currently reading

A Portrait of Emily Price,

which is not based on certain author or genre. I think it is a clear example of a 

reader who decided to write what she wanted to read.

Mansfield Park

by Jane Austen

Dr. Johnny Wink, one of my beloved English professors, ignored the fact that I’m a music major, and allowed me to partake in an Honors course on

*drum roll please* Jane Austen! We traversed three of her novels,

Mansfield Park, Emma,

and

Persuasion.

While I enjoyed all three exceedingly, the first was the only one I had not read prior to the course and was the one I enjoyed the least. Nonetheless, it did showcase an aspect of Austen’s writing that I find most amusing. Satire. I find many of her characters in this novel are not so much meant to admire, like Mr. Darcy, Elinor Dashwood, or Jane Bennet. But instead, to scrutinize the character’s flaws and philosophies. I still find it an interesting read though maybe not as romantic as her other novels, but very amusing. Especially if you find discovering selfish motivation and justification of one’s actions and ideas diverting.

I

started

a few other books, but these four I believe are worth highlighting as my 2017 reads. For 2018, I want to continue my exposure to the classics. But also to male authors.. You’ll find in the above material, all of the names are female. As are many of my favorite authors, Montegomery, Alcott, Austen, Brontë, Rowling, Reay, etc. I plan to read a Thomas Hardy, Charles Dickens, maybe even another George Eliot. (Just kidding..)

I would love to hear what you are reading. Or if you have any suggestions for me as I make my 2018 reading list. Here's to another year of fictional adventures!

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