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Myself like so many of us, choose to use the first few weeks of January as a new start and take some time to line up our intentions or as my little friend would say “revolutions” for the New Year! By the 25th of the month I’ve pretty much decided what things I intend to keep around and what I’d like to reform this year. I’ve preferred to think of intentions instead of resolutions because intentions require a little more planning and purpose behind them. I prefer to keep things simple, so I only have 5 to begin with.
1. Engage
I wasn’t sure if I should go with the Merriam-Webster dictionary for this definition. Typically, when you hear the word you may think of proposals or commitments. I choose to think of the definition, to hold the attention of or engross oneself in. I want to fully embrace what comes every day and engage in the little things and the big things. The word has a French origin but by 1946 English speakers adopted the word when speaking of art and then became generally used to mean “any passionate commitment to a cause.” I want to be more engaged and present. Simply speaking, I want to engage in conversation, while singing a song, or even just enjoying a combination at the ballet barre and not “checking out” so to speak. I also want to engage by becoming a better listener, to not merely have open ears to my friends and family, but engage in what they are communicating. I want those I love to know I’m not just there physically but that they “feel” heard. A good listener cares to understand and the speaker will then feel understood.
2. Books
Thanks to quarantine, 2020 was actually a great year for me in the reading department! I fell even more in love with the works of Karin Tanabe and Katherine Reay. I read some classic plays this year as well as an old beloved novel Where the Red Fern Grows. Follow me on Goodreads as I endeavor to read 21 books in 2021! Have suggestions? Send me them here or on Insta @Belledanseuse3. I’ve already read two books, including Lilac Girls which I would absolutely recommend if you love Historical Fiction as much as I do! I always think “I’ll read more when I have the time,” but I’ve realized this year that I won’t read unless I make the time. In 2020 I had all the time in the world, but I still had to make the choice to read or I would spend all my afternoons binging Hulu instead! (Not that there’s anything wrong with rewatching Full House!) But I look forward to jumping into these titles! (Even if it means some late nights finishing the last 100 pages!!)
3. Trust
I find trust is a struggle for many of us. Trusting others will practice the values they profess, requires a great deal more vulnerability than you would think. We have all had that experience where you’ve shared something of consequence with someone you trusted, only to make it back to class or work the next day and find the whole room staring at you. Crap, they know my junk too. Trust is not easy or comfortable for me. My relationship with God is a dance of doubt and trust, a push and pull. Knowing He has my best interest, but then doubting his love for me in the circumstances. Trust is an intention for me this year because it takes being brave and present in the small moments. It takes full engagement and willingness to put the work in.
4. Boldness
This is the hardest intention for me this year. It follows trust because I have to trust myself in order to be bold. To be bold with my voice means to believe my voice matters. I have loved joining the Beautycounter movement this year. Being a consultant has stretched me to stand up, advocate, and even be loud sometimes! I’ve received no’s and I’ve received yes’s. Just like in the arts, sometimes people aren’t ready to receive you, but that doesn’t mean what you have isn’t worth sharing with the world.
5. Quiet
The quiet before the morning and the quiet after the battle is where the reforming begins. Riots themselves don’t produce the change, but the silence afterward in which small voices become big movements. I’m learning to pause in the quiet and choose to un-hurry myself instead of rushing to the next thing. I want to learn to quiet my mind and thoughts so I don’t run wild with those “what if’s” and “if not’s.” In the quiet, we have space to breathe and to reflect before we launch forward. It keeps us from becoming overcome with the “nexts.” What’s now is found only in the quiet of what is at this moment.
One more thought, having these goals or intentions, or even a whole list of “revolutions” isn’t supposed to change your life or make you a whole new person. It’s the drive behind the intention that makes it into an action. It’s knowing what matters, and what may not matter as much anymore. Some things I’ve thought I couldn’t live without, may not seem as important this year. So find what matters and grow toward that. You may find your life changes not overnight, but where you least expected it.
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